Book now – only 21 places left!
- Impress your prospective clients by developing your repertoire of elitist acronyms and ISO standards
- How to rehash Nielsen / Norman / Krugg publications from the 1990s into your very own book, and become a published author!
- Learn about the benefits of alienating newcomers to the field by switching terminology every 5 minutes (free printable Usability/UX/IA/ID bingo table included)
- Sneak peak of the official UPXDA roadmap of new fashionable phrases for 2010 that will win respect from your clients.
- Add 42% more science bits to your presentations using our free Adobe Illustrator templates, including honeycomb diagrams (add your own buzzwords), graphs-that-don’t-have-numbers-on, and interaction diagrams that leave out key pieces of business logic, guaranteed to leave developers scratching their heads a few months down the line.
- Reduce your exploratory research timelines by 33%, using our new Excel-based persona generator (randomly picks characteristics and user needs from a database of random phrases, then adds a random photo via Google image search)
- Great tips to get your ideas heard in board meetings, e.g. by replacing the phrase "I think…" with "The users said…"
- Apply the rainmaking scam to UX – when your first round of consultancy doesn’t have any measurable effect on their website, convince them they just need to hire you for yet more projects!
- How to write proposals using the zero accountability methodology ®
- Tips on how to coin your own terminology, then spend next year’s conference season doing public speaking gigs around the world!
Only 21 places left! Book now!
Related posts:
- Marti A Hearst’s “Search User Interfaces” book – available free online
- By “Unlimited” we, er, mean, limited. Very limited.
- ‘Working through Screens’ – free interaction design ebook by Jacob Burghardt
- Can using free software lower the bar for your own design standards?
- The new Photoshop will be limited to producing compelling content only
Very funny, but also a sad reflection on parts of the industry.
Is there a follow up on how to be a guru? We don’t have any UK based guru’s and we need some.
This is exactly what UX Brighton is for
@James – “How to be a guru” will be the next webinar in the series….
Are you going to give this talk at UX Brighton ?
What’s funny is that a few of my colleagues at Madgex saw this post and assumed it was real! Oh deary me…
WHO!? name and shame Harry